Depression, Anxiety, Suicide...There are so many ideas and words attached to them.
I am not going to claim I know what it is like to want to kill yourself...but..I would like to share some thoughts and ideas that have been accumulating in my head since the suicide of a very close friend just a month ago yesterday...
Sigh....The day before he went through with it, he spent that evening with a group of friends (I wasn't with them that day) and from their accounts, they said he was happy. Totally fine...they had no clue.
-I heard from one person, "They are happiest right before they carry through because they know the pain is about to end.." I don't know if that is true or not.
So, Many people don't know this, but I was very much involved this last year of his life trying my best to be his friend and help him get through the darkness he felt.
-Some days I would get a text or call from him telling me he wasn't safe. I would then proceed to call him or invite him over, give him a hug..whatever I could until he had calmed down.
-A few terrible days...I would get a text on my phone, saying goodbye..Those are the scariest... :'(
-Sometimes when I was out of town I would call up a friend and have someone be with him so he wasn't alone, to protect him from the demons in his head...
-There was one night...I stayed up for hours, the whole night trying everything I knew and praying my guts out with him because he was so determined to kill himself. If I hadn't been there..his life would have ended much sooner. I was terrified...because I knew he wasn't in his right mind...he was being attacked by so much darkness...to the point he couldn't think of anything else. We made it through that night, and he later thanked me for helping him.
-One day I was talking to him, and he finally confessed he had over 100 pills in him...I called up his parents and they took him to the hospital. That was a couple weeks before it happened.
The thing I noticed was...he would always let me know if he was struggling bad...until he actually did it. He told no one. I had no clue.
Suicidal people are often silent about what they feel, or what they do. How are we to help them?
Ya see, some cases, it is because of bullying and they are being abused or something. But others, it really is because of a mental illness that is sucking the life out of them...
My friend knew very well that he had many good close friends who loved him. I have no doubt he knew that. I know he had many painful things going on in his life, but he knew God and he had a testimony of Jesus Christ. SO WHY DID HE GO THROUGH WITH IT EVEN AFTER HOW MUCH I TRIED TO HELP?
I think that he had a mental illness. I call it demons in his head. It was really wearing me out mentally and emotionally to always being trying to help him, I would do it again but the thing is, I wasn't enough!
He needed professional help.
Sometimes we have to take actions to ensure that those we love stay safe. If that means medical help, then we should do it. EVEN if they get mad at you! Or claim they will hate you for it...It is best to take action.
-Sometimes the suicide hotlines can help.
-If you think someone is in danger...you have a right to contact either a parent, or even the police.
-Always listen to the Spirit and be a friend!
-Smile at everyone. Please do not be rude or make fun of others..you have NO idea what they have going on inside.
-Take time to listen, and strive to understand. Do not alienate them, they are trying, just love them. Take action if it becomes necessary.
Goodbye...One of the scariest messages to get.
PLEASE! Take those statements seriously, you could save a life.
I'm not sure if this post effectively explains this topic well...I am just a 19 year old, sharing thoughts. Take it for what it is...And please share this with others. Maybe, just Maybe it can help someone who is hurting.
Idaho Suicide Prevention Hotline:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Comments
Post a Comment